So now for another blog about women – on trains, but this time, I don’t think I’ll see them again.
I’m over in Northern Ireland as I write this, staying around the Bangor area and a friend and myself decided to get a train from Carnalea to Belfast Grand Central. Bangor has some great views on the line, had a nice CAF Class 4000 unit which the first coach at least, suddenly wanted to divorce its gearbox.
Carnelea has some nice views and some interesting plants, it’s next to t a golf course too. Only downside is that my friend sat in the first carriage and I did too, I asked to join a lovely lady on a table, the offer wasn’t refused as I use my tablet and battled with the VPN and the tablet, while my home PC sticks the fingers up.
While taking in the sites that the Bangor line has. Truly amazing. However, confidence is an all time low. So, I get the glance, I look at her occasionally and admire the beauty of the lady and too scared to say anything. If you read previously or if I have mentioned, my rejection rate is very high and I turned into this “I don’t want to take the risk anymore” sort of thing, so talking and taking details is a no no for me now, unless they start talking to me, but then I’m careful. The thing that scared me? The phone and the camera pointed at my direction, that makes me nervous! And it happened a few times during the journey. I should have taken a photo of her, but laws are against me and it’s even more wrong to put a photo on this site. Especially with GDPR.
Then near to the end of the journey, she started tapping the table after I did, still saying nothing and ignoring the cues, then getting off the train, she was right behind me, the whole way until I stopped and waited for my friend in an open area. She leaves and comes back to use Starbucks and takes a very long time. Then disappeared on another train.
Why write about it? Well, to give an insight. Too scared to get myself into trouble and a more recent point I’ve put across is that being on the ASD means you misinterpret a lot, I don’t like taking risks, I don’t like getting into trouble, I don’t like making people feel uncomfortable and even if nothing happened. (Can’t anyway for other reasons – I’ll talk about it in due course). I would love to get to know more women, its just my past, my confidence has been shattered and even my colleagues, who are women, its taken me a long time to even talk to them.
What I find weird is many women get uncomfortable by me, but at the same time, do they realise that some actions make me feel uncomfortable too? It’s like being baited, Being neutral to me is best, or just ask a question like “hows your day?”. I’ll start a conversation that way. If you are wondering, yes, I did go to Belfast, yes, I did have a good day out and ended up taking too many photos of trains again.
